Local baozi made with cardboard and caustic soda. I’ve probably downed a couple of these…

Previously-

And here’s a Globe and Mail report on fake building materials used in the construction industry. Oy vey.

Fake plasma used in Chinese hospitals. Thanks, Alexis.

Antibiotics and antifungals found in imported fish. I’m feeling smug, now.

China promises to do better. Good luck with that.

The diethylene gylcol toothpaste shows up in the US. At the Dolla Store.

An interesting article on Chinese food safety. From the Southern Metropolis Daily, via Danwei.

Alexis mentioned in the comments that fugu was being sold as monkfish in the US.

China is executing the former head of it’s FDA and establishing a recall system.

While that friend and defender of the little guy, the Bush administration, takes China to task for food safety, Mom and Lina have been on the case, and dug up these new examples of delicious adulteration.

Toothpaste made with diethylene glycol as a thickener. Best known as windshield washer fluid, the chemical is also popular in the manufacture of wholly counterfeit medicines as well.

Contaminated traditional Chinese medicines. (Ironically, besides arsenic, cadmium, lead, strychnine and mercury, some patent medicines are being adulterated with pharmaceuticals like acetaminophen or cortisone.)

Melamine added to pet and livestock feed, as well as protein flours for human consumption, to increase its apparent protein content. The New York Times just published an expose on the subject. As an ex-carpenter, I should have recognized the adulterant. Mom pointed me to the FDA alert. Thanks, Mom.

The article mentioned some new and exciting contamination- eels battened on birth-control pills, and cuttlefish dipped in (calligraphy) ink. Looking deeper, I found this article on the People’s Daily website, which mentions fish dipped in formaldehyde and bamboo shoots treated with industrial sulfur.

I’m especially interested in the birth-control eels, if anyone can point me to some solid information on it.

Carcinogenic wax added to hotpot and to pepper oil. A lot of contamination has to do with Sudan 1. Chinese people like their food to be really red.

Human hair made into soy sauce.

Synthetic eggs (in shell).

Carcinogenic red dye in duck eggs.

“Sewer Grease” in lard.

Fake infant formula, causing a condition known as “Big Head Disease”.

Bleached Rice contaminated with aflotoxin.

In an ironic twist, it seems that Chinese farmers are being swindled with counterfeit pesticide. (I have to say that we get very nice vegetables and fruit here in Beijing, probably on account of all those banned pesticides.)

I’ve had enough wretched pizza in my life to know that preparation is more than half the battle, and you can’t assume that what you ate yesterday is the same as what you’ll eat today. Tripe is an excellent example of a food that can swing from revolting to delicious, depending on the chef, so take my reviews with a grain of salt.

Insects and Arachnids-

Live Ants- Sweet, lemony flavor and a soft, grainy texture. Refreshing, but I did get bitten on the uvula once. Not painful, but gave me a rather dry, choking feeling. Eaten on a dare, they became a favorite stunt. I imagine they would taste differently if cooked.

Nacho Cheese Flavor Mealworms (Larvets)- Novelty snacks, look and taste almost exactly like Cheetos, but with that musty flavor all novelty food seems to have. Mom got me these for my birthday one year.

“French Style” Crickets with garlic and parsley- Delicious. A faintly sweet seafood flavor, like soft-shell crab. Ellen and I just went to the pet store and bought a bag of these guys (“They’re for our turtle.”) It is tragic, though, to throw a handful of live jumpers in the pan. Recipe from Calvin W Schwabe’s fabulous Unmentionable Cuisine.

Deep Fried Bee Larvae- Flavorless, they needed a good dose of hot pepper salt to make an impact. Like slightly soggy puffed rice. Served to us at the very mediocre Middle 8 restaurant here in Beijing. There are more appealing descriptions here.

Grilled Silkworm Pupae- Lacquered poop on a stick. A thin flavorless shell surrounds a juicy, fecal inside. The hot-pepper sauce didn’t help at all. Like shellfish, I have to suspect that freshness is key to getting good bugs. Gotten at Wanfujing night market, Beijing.

Fried Grasshopper- Delicious, crunchy, like half-popped popcorn. Could snack regularly on them. Also at Wanfujing. Also kosher.

Grilled Scorpion- A less tasty variation of the locust. The stinger was nice, but the body had a slightly liverish flavor. It failed to confer any mystical powers on me, either. Gotten at Wanfujing again.

Grilled “Diving Beetle”- Rather bitter, with too much husk/body ratio. A waxy, unpleasant nibble. Wanfujing night market.

(They have delicious chuan’r and other snacks at the night market, but the whole point of the trip was to eat bugs. That’s Beijing has a little feature here about a chef at a similar snack-street…)

Other Exotics-

Raw Urchin- Salty iodine flavors predominate. Like my friend Josiah said about Laphroaig Whisky: “The Floating Hospital.” Got one on the halfshell at the Oyster Bar a long time ago, and disliked it. I love urchin roe sushi, though.

Deep-fried Starfish- Unpleasant. A crunchy, gritty carapace surrounding a firm iodine paste. The one I ate had quite a bit of sand still in it, but that might be simply indigestible bits of the carapace. Also eaten at Wanfujing, on the merits of having an uneven number of legs greater than four.

Whole Grilled Baby Birds (or Sparrows?)- 马马虎虎 (“mama huhu”, aka mezza-mezza, nishkoshe). The preparation was lacking; simply grilled on a hot plate, and sprinkled with “Xinjiang” spices, mostly hot pepper and cumin. With finesse, it could be good, but as it was, it was simply unpleasantly rubbery and crunchy. Got these at a restaurant in the Quianmen neighborhood whose name escapes me. (The only endotherm on the list!)

I invite you all to top this list in the comments section.

Love and kisses,

Will

Tomatoes and Eggs

Fried Cheese

Cup of Corn